[Si] TV

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I gotta tell u, with all the other things i'm creating in my life..not 2 mention paying bills, growing spiritually and keepin it all 2gether. That clock...that fucking clock...is becoming louder and louder...30something ladies u know what i'm talkin bout. See, i'e never been married and i don't have kids. My goals and ambitions have always been in entertainment. That's where my focus has been for soooooo long. Age aint nuttin but a number...yea, i remember that Aaliyah song, RIP. When i was in my 20's it was the jamm..lol! It's becoming less funny 2 me these days. I want 2 have children...i'd like 2 be married but hey, i'm starting 2 think that if 4 sum reason that doesn't happen within the next couple of years...what are my alternitives...hmmmm. Adoption? Sperm doner? Seriously?! A woman shouldn't be afraid 2 think like this. I'm dealing in reality here. It's funny how if i go on a date with someone...and that doesn't happen very often...yes, I AM PICKY! Anyways, so whenever i do, i share with my Mother and now the conversations are becoming a bit comical 2 me. My Mother has never been the one 2 push relationship on me...she's always said Monica, enjoy ur life. Well, i'm noticing that she's now making comments like...hey, give it a chance, try something new, stay open...who cares if ur not attracted 2 the man...that can come later. Maybe u'll become attracted 2 something else...Love can develop. Ok, is it me or is my Mother tryin 2 tell me somethin? lol! Living in LA seems as if the pickings are slim...there are soooooo many single women out here. I mean amazing single women...One of my girlfriends moved 2 Atlanta a few months ago. She lived here for 5 yrs and not once n that 5 yr span did she have anything substatial with a man. So, one day she said, that's it, i'm out! She's approaching her 40's and was like it's obviously not happening here and i want 2 have a family. I'm cool on my career, i've got Fam in Atlanta...maybe the southern men might have a different attitude about relationships. Next thing i know, my homegirl was packin it up. WOW! 30's is real grown up shit! Maybe it's just a new time..maybe most men aren't trippin over committment or then again, maybe they are. Brothers, don't u want more than just a baby momma? I mean, does family mean anything 2 u? What? What does it mean? Is it that u just have too much 2 choose from...does a relationship equal liability? In my mind a life partner, if u choose the right one, is an asset....I'm thinkin in abundance here...someone u can build with, create with..enjoy and share life with. What's really goin on here? What's up with FAMILY?? It's not like i'm the only one in my crew single...half my girlfriends...who are very fly, i might add, independent, career oriented, movers shakers, degrees, business owners, entreprenuers, etc...are rollin solo. Sometimes i feel like hey, this is alright...go as i please, no questions, no demands, eat what i want, when i choose, date from time 2 time when/if I feel like it...chill in my own space...things are in the place that I want them...aahhhh yea, this is nice.........THEN, yea, those days hit, that clock starts 2 tick! Nothin' I can do really but keep shinin', stay positive, build, grow, blogg it out..lol! Maybe we have too many things occupying our attention these days...internet, cell phones, demanding jobs, video games, a party every nite of the week and atleast 10 single beautiful women one man can choose from... Welcome 2 the 21st century the age of bling bling and threesomes...Aint nottin but a party yall...