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I have a couple of gray hairs on my head (pause)! I can't believe that at 28-year-old I have four strands of gray hair! The good thing is that you can only notice it if you're face-to-face with me-which only my wife is. I guess there are three reasons for gray hairs to have popped out of my head.

1. Republicans-The thought of having another four years under the Republican regime and the proposed bailout plan has me popping up with gray hairs in unsightly places (pause). Like my toes.
2. The Mets-Not since the Knicks of the ‘90s has my fanhood been tested like this. It's like I'm a proclaimed sadomasochist by saying I'm a Mets fan. Sometimes it's easier just to jump on the winners' bandwagon...but the Yankees suck even more than the Mets this year. Orange and blue forever (tear).
3. Marriage-As much as I love my wife the few times we have arguments I feel like a dbag, a gray-haired dbag at that.

But I won't let the wife pluck'em. I'll sport them with a badge of honor and watch less Mets games.

Uno,

Jesus