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The Dieting Mavens of Madison Avenue
Posted on: Wed, 01/16/2008 - 2:47pm
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I hadn't seen my co-worker Stormy* in over a week, and when I did there was something different about her. Granted, Stormy isn't an overweight girl but she was never a toothpick either. However, here in front of me she was obviously thinner. I mentioned this to her, her face lit up and she (with a huge smile) floated over to my desk and unleashed her weightloss secret. Pulling up the hair near her ear, she displayed a patch on her neck. "An accupuncture miracle!" she exclaimed. Huh? She explained that her accupuncturist had placed these little ballitas of some material against her skin and she rubs them 40x a day and voila! instant weightloss! I told her I didn't get it. She further explained that she was hardly hungry, allowed to only eat fruits, veggies and whole milk and never once felt hungry. This is probably because I was feeling hungry enough for the both of us. I gave her a staged smile, told her good luck and she walked away pleased.
Immediately after, my boss called me into her office. "Could you grab me an orange?" she asked. It was lunch time, so I said, "That's it?" She nodded. Turns out she too is on a diet. Some kind of flush where you train your body to eat at certain times and only certain foods for two weeks. Again, I plastered on a smile and went about orange hunting, all the while wondering what Twilight Zone I had stepped into.
In case you don't know, I'm 100% Puerto Rican and incapable of banning rice and fried foods from my daily diet. It's true! If I go three days without arroz con gandules I start to have convulsions! And the thought of no pan with mi sopa? GET out of here! But, that being said, I could still use a little work on my belly pouch and bam boom hips. So crazy diets- Xnay! Little mechanisms from Mars attached to my skin- heck no! Maybe I can do without the half plate of rice my mom serves (ya'll know what I'm talking about) with my baked chuletas. And a trip to the gym here and there is doable. But most importantly, I shall embrace the gift of curves God has granted me and just be happy with the fact that I'm healthy.
Toodles kids!
*Name have been changed to hide the identity of the crazed dieter.
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Elle-to-the-J,
Yo necesita Entenmann’s por favor! LOL!!! One Love, Ivan Sanchez – I failed 8 days in ex-dieter!
I'm with you! Arroz con habichuelas/gandules, bread, fried food, I could NEVER give up nor do I want to, Shiieett LOL! Just throw some fruits and veggies in the mix and u're good!
Does that patch thing work on pizza?